Whether celebrating the 2nd Team’s hard-fought 2-1 victory that afternoon or thinking about “what ifs” after the heartbreak of the 1st Team having victory snatched from their grasp by a cruel last minute equaliser, Old Headingley’s players certainly had plenty of reasons for needing a drink as the clock ticked around to 6:30 on the evening of the first social event of the ‘11/’12 campaign.
Obviously, as a veteran not just of many years of top quality football but also of several Otley Runs and numerous OHAFC nights out in general, The Old Pro has seen pretty much all there is to see when it comes to the Skyrack FC invading the local watering holes. Could anyone spring a surprise and tear up the form book or would it just be the usual suspects holding court as usual? Here’s how one man saw the evening play out…
Woodies
Harwood & Monkhouse claim the prize for being the first to arrive and everyone else amazingly manages to get there on time, meaning fines for lateness will only be applicable if anyone turns up supremely late. Otley Run virgin George Clark tries to look super-cool whereas seasoned campaigners like Seed & Fearn make it clear that coolness is not what they do. Good to see that Lucas’ 4-6 week injury problems do not affect drinking availability, also good to see Preston escaping the prison that is fatherhood for a night out. Boothy & Dave Gillespie both guilty of mobile phone infractions but normal punisher Burnsy declares himself “too tired” to enforce the usual ‘free text to anyone’ punishment. ‘1 pub 1 pint’ strategy is agreed upon and so we press ahead to pub #2.
Any surprises here? – One massive one really. WHERE IS CLUB CAPTAIN AND SOCIAL SECRETARY ANDY WILLIAMS?!!!?
The Three Horseshoes
The night gathers momentum as the “Best & Worst Effort” awards are handed out. Despite putting real thought and effort into his glasses, an outraged Monky gets one nomination in the latter category, presumably from someone that does not understand what they are supposed to be voting for, whilst honorable mentions must go to Kempton, Lucas, & Harwood for criminally overlooked high quality eyewear. Gav Johnstone is a popular winner in the Best Effort category, although this is surpassed by the gigantic unpopularity of the attempts of Keogh and Fearn who remain as lovable off the pitch as they are on it. Incredible levels of lateness from the recently arrived Fryer and Hasson result in a mucky pint for each of them, lovingly compiled from the bar’s drip trays by manager Debbie. The new 2nd team boss nails his in a matter of seconds, whereas birthday boy Hass takes around half a minute and dribbles a quarter of his down his chin.
Any surprises here? – Upon exiting the pub, a fantastically early chunder from Hasson who brings his pint back up in one thirtieth of the time it took him to drink it.
New Inn
Congratulations all round for the award winners and losers in here. 3rd placed worst effort Dave Gillespie explains the dynamics of his and Lewis Keogh’s pretty grim friendship and elaborates for anyone that didn’t go on tour upon why exactly it was thought ok in Magaluf to spit on peoples’ faces and in their mouths.
Any surprises here? – Finely tuned athletes having to get taxis between pub #3 and pub #4.
Headingley Taps
Rotten as ever, it is actually something of a surprise that the whole crew gets let in to this place after most if not all were turned away by the door staff last year. The quality of the establishment is summed up by a pretty sickening dance cameo by Monkhouse and a grim Hen Party, the sight of which is enough to remind Preston that he has a daughter he should be spending time with if she’s not to grow up like this and so he heads home. Smoking crew outside are kept entertained by sight of the least tough ‘doorman’ of all time whilst Hasson’s headwear answers the question “Will I marry my bird” from the first team ‘keeper. We’ll keep the outcome of that one secret in case she’s reading this…
Any surprises here? – Matt Hannon getting ID’d. Yes, you read that correctly.
The Arc
Having turned up at Pub #2 after working late, a disappointingly conservatively dressed Party Boy makes his presence felt in here with the double whammy of cracking onto a trio of lasses and having his twin brother working behind the bar. England cricketer Ryan Sidebottom is made up at getting his picture taken with Kieran Burns as the ‘1 pub 1 pint’ rule is finally broken.
Any surprises here? – The Over 30’s are more interested in Fed & Djokovic than being sociable.
The Box
After a preliminary sing-song earlier in the evening, things really get going in here as a packed outside area is treated to a full repertoire of OHAFC classics. For some reason Harwood seems to be the focus of lots of the songs and relations between himself and Hasson become somewhat strained for a short while. Adherence to rules has long since gone out of the window by this point and any ideas of enforcing punishments which were promised earlier in the night are now a distant memory. Lots of tall women in here that do not take kindly to having their height pointed out to them.
Any surprises here? – Is Harwood really about to join the Hasson family?
Skyrack
Things are becoming a little hazy by this point for all concerned, not least The Old Pro. At this stage in proceedings normally Andy Williams would be coming into his own, but, as we’ve mentioned, he is not here. The emotion of winning Best Effort and the expression of admiration of his team mates all becomes a bit too much for Gav J who takes his leave, whilst those with stamina are rounded up and put into cabs headed for town, with those that know that their bed may soon be calling them opting to finish the night with one last place in Headingley.
Any surprises here? – Burnsy recovers from being in a massive hole at flipsies and just manages to avoid having to give away his jumper as collateral.
Trio
Danny B chucks some shapes whilst wearing the Bo Selecta! Craig David head. The sight of this makes those in attendance worry that their drink may well have been spiked. Wildman Will Johnson is pushing for the group to press on for yet more drinks elsewhere but for The Old Pro and others it’s time to call it a night and bring the curtain down on another memorable Otley Run. Falling asleep in front of the TV with a barely touched G&T and half eaten bag of French Fries seems like an appropriate way to end things…
Any surprises here? – F*ck knows…
What happened in town in one minute…..
5 cabs depart from the Skyrack. Arrive at Players where Tim Curtis ushers the lads inside promising four fishbowls, three shots each, half price drinks and loads of beautiful women (they didn’t get any of this). They danced, they drunk, they partied. They tried the shoe dance, bouncers were having none of it. Butcher greets a black man called Joe like an old friend, then realises it’s not who he thinks it is. Eddie K meets the girl of his dreams wearing a really long (and sh*t) dress, Ash meets the girl of his dreams, Monks meets a girl but I assure you he never wants to dream of her. They drink glitterbombs, and then jaegarbombs, then run out of money so they drink anything they can find. They party in the toilet, then VIP, then the dancefloor. Hasson drinks more and his face begins to melt, Hallam appears out of nowhere and Lewis tries to rugby tackle him. Eddie K leaves with an 18yr old, Dave Gillespie goes home alone, Burnsy cries all in the name of OHAFC!!!
These are the nights that make Old Headingley the club it is. There’s friendship, there’s love, there’s a whole lot of fun and prizes to be won.
And finally……
There is one man who you expect to hear about on a night like this and late at night he didn’t disappoint. One member of the squad received a little photo update of how the mysterious Edd Calvert had finished the Otley run….
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