Old Headingley AFC 1st Team Squad

vs Rothwell Athletic (Home)
12.00am meet at The Skyrack, 2.00pm kick off

Match Preview to follow

1. George Clark

2. Callum Butcher

3. Andy Williams

4. Phil Harrington

5. Ed Calvert

6. Tony Angell

7. Eddie Kiernan

8. Steve Beck

9. Paul Cooney

10. Ash Austin

11. Paul Kempton

12. Sam Pickup

13. Rich Booth

14. Will Johnson

Old Headingley AFC Reserve Team Squad

vs Brighouse Old Boys Res (Away)
12.00pm meet at the Skyrack, 2.00pm kick off

Match Preview to follow

1. Tom Long

2. Tom Monkhouse

3. Paul Leonard

4. Rio Comrie

5. Lewis Keogh

6. Brad Mant

7. Rich Harwood

8. Sam Hasson

9. Kieran Burns

10. Paul Harrington

11. Danny Burns

12. Kieron Grant

13. Nick Gledhill

14. Adey Shields

15. Oli Seed

“Now is the winter of my discontent”

Believe it or not, The Old Pro has a Facebook page.


Yesterday, one of his so-called friends wrote on their Facebook profile that they were excited because they “saw the Coke advert” and therefore knew that “Christmas is coming”. The Old Pro instantly wanted to hit this person in the face with an anvil.


Leaving aside the fact that the advert is simply a trick which flicks a switch in the brains of idiots and gets them to kick off a sustained period of consuming horrifically unhealthy products 7 weeks before the event they’re supposed to be celebrating comes around, The Old Pro cannot believe that anyone rejoices in winter.


Late September, October, and the early weeks of November are a footballer’s paradise. Note that when The Old Pro uses the term “footballer” he is referring to those players that delight in playing passing football, ticking the ball around for no real purpose other than sheer beauty, those that like the ground soft enough to take a stud but firm enough for the ball to roll true and the centre circle not to cut up.


Once Bonfire Night is out of the way and supermarkets are dedicating 75% of their floor space to tubs of Celebrations and tins of Quality Street, it’s a race against time before the really un-enjoyable part of the season kicks in for the amateur footballer.


Don’t believe The Old Pro? Think he’s being overly-dramatic and unnecessarily grumpy? Think again. Here are just some of the things which make his life a misery from mid-November through until March.

• The ploughed fields and stinking bogs which represent 85% of the West Yorkshire League’s penalty areas and centre circles
• Grounds where the showers are either (a) freezing cold or (b) a pathetic dribble almost make it acceptable for people not to shower after games
• Getting “the call” or “the text” mid-Saturday morning advising that bad weather means your match has been postponed.
• Realising it’s 10:30 on a Saturday morning and you have a whole day of nothing in front of you.
• Having a whole Saturday of nothing in front of you after having turned down a Friday night out in order to be fresh for your game.
• Christmas shopper traffic in November and December makes getting to any game or meet an absolute ball-ache.
• Bargain hunter traffic in January makes you wish for the good old days of Christmas shopper traffic.
• Absolutely any warm-up exercise on a Saturday or a Tuesday which involves sitting on the ground means a guaranteed soaking wet arse.
• The only people that brave the weather to come out and watch WYL games are those that really want to abuse you/see a fight
• Attempting to attend your work Christmas party on the Friday and then be ok to play in the game on the Saturday does not go to plan. Ever.
• Wearing gloves to a training session and those gloves then getting wet when doing press ups ends up being worse than not wearing gloves at all.
• Actually feeling a tiny bit envious of players that wear leggings is a feeling no man should ever experience.

Don’t say you haven’t been warned. Oh, and don’t get The Old Pro started on how bobbly and hard the pitches will be in April and May either…

Click for Old Headingley AFC 1st Team

Fixtures & Match Previews

Click for Old Headingley AFC Reserve Team

Fixtures & Match Previews

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Results & Match Reports

Click for Old Headingley AFC Reserve Team

Results & Match Reports

Old Headingley’s Guardian Angell provides this weekend’s preview…

Emotions are gathering pace as we approach a weekend tainted with huge sentiment. As such, my words this week are more of appeal, than preview. For the record, here are the fixtures:

                                        Swillington Saints Vs OHAFC          (WYAFL Div 1)

Form Guide:                    WLLLL                        WLLDL

Last Meeting:               n/a

On any normal day I’d say this would be another disappointing draw, with OHAFC’s stumbling form and various work xmas parties marring another Saturday.

                                      OHAFC Reserves Vs Beeston St Anthony’s Reserves    (Alliance Div 1)

Form Guide:                   DLDLD                                    WWWWL

Last meeting:                 Beeston St Anthony’s Reserves 2-2 OHAFC Reserves       18/04/11                                                
                                                                                                                       (Grant x 2)

On any normal day I’d say the Reserves could well take a battering…

BUT…

This is no usual Saturday. 3 of the OHAFC mainstays, both on and off the pitch, will wave farewell to the club this weekend, and if ever there was a time for both teams to sort themselves out and pull a winning performance out the bag, this is it.

Richie Harwood was one of the first players that stood out for me at Old Headingley. Looking like a complete weirdo carrying a deck chair and a broken hand, I arrived at a pitch in Bradford a few seasons back to watch my mate Finchy play for the OHAFC ressies. Despite managers Brown and Notman orchestrating a 2-0 victory, it wasn’t the greatest game and my actual comments to Finchy were: “no-one stood out for me, apart from the captain in centre mid.” Little did I know, that just over a year later that captain would be staining my bath with his fake tan, having ‘artistic disagreements’ with my missus over his make-up and having tantrums when he couldn’t decide between pink or yellow leg warmers; all this in preparation for being the better half of ‘Super Diva Fever.’ Since then I’ve got to know Richie well- casually necking 2 litres of vodka with him and Pickup at lunchtime on our Magaluf balcony certainly helped the bond- and you simply can’t dislike anything about the bloke. He never missed a social, rarely missed a training session and consistently performed on the pitch; Harwood is a true example to any OHAFC associate. Luckily for him, his one-on-one conversion rate is better off the pitch than on it… So you have been warned- keep him away from your sisters!!

My first real interaction with Thomas Monkhouse came out of desperation. “Monks, I never go on nights like this, make sure you look after me!” came the plea from my EfeSodjified face as we stood side-by-side at the urinal in Trio. We were emptying ourselves one last time on an OHAFC Otley run before heading to Basics with Eddie K, Bridger and Gav J. Later, as I announced to Monks my exit from the club at 5am, I knew that the soft, tender kiss goodbye we shared would not be the last, and indeed I was right- although quite how right I was will not be discussed further here! When I left FC Headingley, I really didn’t think it would be possible to join a gayer club. I was wrong, and if I ever needed this reaffirming, I’d just hang out with Monks for a bit. Despite this however, no lady was ever safe on a night out with Monkey, and his post-night-out stories never failed to amuse, often including expressions such as ‘hideous’, ‘disgusting’ and ‘absolute munter.’ I think it would be fair to say that this man can already be considered an OHAFC legend, and aside from the endless off-the-pitch antics, his contributions on the pitch have been invaluable- a quality footballer and motivator, a man who cares about the club and plays with his heart. Mercifully we can expect a return next season, but right now that seems a long way away.

Chris Burns- really? Do I really need to say anything about this man and what he has done for this club? Thought not. Even beginning to write about what he has done for OHAFC, is an impossible task, so I won’t start a list because it would be endless. Quite simply, he is to Old Headingley what Shankley is to Liverpool, what Fergie is to Man United, what Nicholson is to Spurs, what Shearer is to Newcastle, what Delia is to Norwich… So this Saturday lads, for Burnsy, LET’S BE AVIN’ YOU…!!!

I don’t want to have to report that these lads were not given the send-off they deserve. So if you are an OHAFC player reading this, I implore you to aspire to excellence like never before this weekend. Go into every tackle, win every header and take every chance as if it was the last game of football you will ever play. Do it for the lads. Do it for your mates.

I really don’t care about the scores this week, as long as they are both WINS. Then let’s follow this with a night out involving more booze, banter, singing, dancing, manlove and bodily fluids than even Eddie K can handle.

Who’s with me?

The Guardian Angell’s Archive

Gameweek 17 Preview (08/12/11)

Gameweek 15 Preview (24/11/11)

Gameweek 14 Preview (17/11/11)

Gameweek 13 Preview (10/11/11)

Gameweek 12 Preview (03/11/11)

Gameweek 11 Preview (27/10/11)

Gameweek 10 Preview (20/10/11)

Gameweek 9 Preview (13/10/11)

Gameweek 8 Preview (29/09/11)

Gameweek 7 Preview (22/09/11)

Gameweek 6 Preview (15/09/11)

Gameweek 5 Preview (08/09/11)

Gameweek 4 Preview (01/09/11)

Gameweek 3 Preview (25/08/11)

Gameweek 2 Preview (18/08/11)

Preview of the Season

Old Headingley AFC 1st Team Squad

vs Rothwell Athletic (Home)
12.00am meet at The Skyrack, 2.00pm kick off

Match Preview to follow

1. George Clark

2. Callum Butcher

3. Andy Williams

4. Phil Harrington

5. Ed Calvert

6. Tony Angell

7. Eddie Kiernan

8. Steve Beck

9. Paul Cooney

10. Ash Austin

11. Paul Kempton

12. Sam Pickup

13. Rich Booth

14. Will Johnson

Old Headingley AFC Reserve Team Squad

vs Brighouse Old Boys Res (Away)
12.00pm meet at the Skyrack, 2.00pm kick off

Match Preview to follow

1. Tom Long

2. Tom Monkhouse

3. Paul Leonard

4. Rio Comrie

5. Lewis Keogh

6. Brad Mant

7. Rich Harwood

8. Sam Hasson

9. Kieran Burns

10. Paul Harrington

11. Danny Burns

12. Kieron Grant

13. Nick Gledhill

14. Adey Shields

15. Oli Seed

The Blindfold Match was inspired by Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts V ‘The Model’ Rick Martel at Wrestlemania VII, which came about due to Martel inadvertently blinding Roberts weeks earlier by spraying his colognen named ‘Arrogance’ in Jake The Snake’s eyes, resulting in his temporary blindness. Once we had fitted our blindfolds round our heads (dressing gown belts), I simply removed mine and carefully got off the bed, and watched as Daniel played up to the imaginary crowd (!) by pointing in directions, waiting for the crowd to cheer when he finally pointed in my direction, just like at Wrestlemania. I am not sure exactly how this was working in his simple head, but he decided I was definitely in a certain direction (the imaginary crowd were probably to blame), and then ran full pace in that direction, running straight off the bed, straight over the 3 foot gap at the side of the bed and into the wall. It was like something out of a cartoon. I had never laughed so much since Daniel shouted “Fuck Off Fred” at a painting of a tramp. Needless to say, Daniel knocked himself out, and fell to the ground snoring.


When my Mam and Dad came up to investigate the noise, they found Daniel knocked out, dragged him to his feet, and then smacked him over the head, and told him off for being bad. Job done.


This was not the only time Daniel was knocked unconscious as a result of my doing. I bet him £1 once that I could knock him to the ground with only 2 fingers. He accepted the bet. I promptly put one finger in the base of his spine, the other under his nose and then proceeded to quite easily tip him backwards by pushing his nose up and back, whilst using the finger in his spine as a pivot point. Down he went, and with no hands to break his fall, took the full weight of the fall on back of his head on the floor tiles in the front of ‘Snappy Tomato Pizza’, and yes, you guessed it – started snoring as he again found himself knocked out.


Yes, living with Daniel Burns was certainly interesting.

Coach Fearn takes a look into the Old Headingley transport fleet and realises that Manager Burns has more to pick from than the usual family Car.

Chris Weston – Council Gritting Machine

Useful 3 times a year.  Out of service the rest of the time

Paul Kempton – 1962 JAGUAR XKR

A classic bit of kit that commands respect.  Looking like it will soon be confined to the Old Headingley Garage

Tony Angell – JOHN DEERE TRACTOR

Strong, powerful bit of machinery, rarely breaks down and loves being covered in mud

Will Johnson – Audi TT

Not quite the engine of a Ferrari but still got that little bit more about it than your average car

Adrian Shields – 1950’S INDUSTRIAL STEAM ENGINE 

Enormous awkward looking piece of engineering.  Big head that often blows steam

Paul Leonard – Fire Engine

Big Red Faced unit.  Big engine and good for aerial problems.  Speed limited due to weight issue

Timothy Manuel – Jumbo Jet

Bulky but good in the air, often abroad but a sexy bit of kit to own

Matt Hannon – Gulf Buggy

One of the smallest engines in the fleet.  Quite a noisy engine and must be handles with care




Mark Lucas – Dingy

Can be unbelievably useful on the right day.  However rubbish in the cold and can occasionally self deflate

Sam Brown – Transit Van

Seems to have been around for ages.  Loved by Men

Richard Harwood – Lifeboat

Often seen asking for funds in order to stay afloat.  Loved by its crew

Andy Hallam – Tricycle

Low centre of gravity, great at turning in tight spaces and durable

Lewis Keogh – Carlsberg Delivery Truck

Sturdy, hard to break.  Usually full of bear

Sean Tyres – Cement Mixer

Uncompromisingly built, unsubtle and never afraid to mix things up

Paul Cooney – Carrier Pidgeon

Massive engine though weird little head

Andrew Williams – Horse and Cart

Very old member of the fleet.  Never experiences engine failure though very slow




Oliver Seed – Citreon Saxo

Fast over the first 5-10 yards, loses power soon after.  Not built for long distance travel

Ash Austin– Racehorse

Form depends upon its mood and fitness.  Can be great but also temperamental




Tom Long – SmartCar

Although not the biggest, very very SMART

Callum Butcher – Mobile Crane

Built for aerial manoeuvres.  A bit Awkward looking for bloody useful

Gav Johnstone – Submarine

Not many people know a lot about this piece of kit.  Clearly loaded with missiles but not used enough

Daniel Burns – Pedalo

Always tends to drift and can sometimes find itself in choppy waters.  Has a mind of its own

Steve Beck – Tank

Slow, unsexy, Powerful, uncompromising with a big shot

David Davies (Preston) – Clown Car

Makes unorthodox manoeuvres, is a bit daft though popular with kids

Sam Pickup –Pickup Truck

Often comes to the rescue when we need it most.

Phil Harrington – Volkswagon Bora

Safe, steady, reliable though would rarely be invited to any exciting Hollywood parties




Paul Harrington – Moped

Good little runner but would benefit from more power.  Desperate to be a motorbike

Dave Gillespie – Ford Focus

No Frills, yet better than it looks. Popular bit of Kit

Sam Hasson – Horse Box

Extremely useful despite being funny looking.  Usually full of shit

Matt Harrison – Hovercraft

Unique piece of equipment.  Full of hot air and rarely allowed out.  Great engine




Tom Monkhouse – Ford Cortina

Somehow manages to keep running despite always seeming to have some part of its bodywork battered or broken

Eddie Kiernan – BMX

Great over ruff terrain, built for impact

Kieran Burns – Jet Ski

Looks right, fast and great to have in the fleet even though nobody has quite worked out how it works

Tim Curtis – Batmobile

Recent edition to the fleet so the club still learning of its capabilities.  Looks the part.  Just need to work out how to drive it

Richard Booth – Dick Dastardly’s Wacky Races Car

Crazy, colourful piece of kit.  Nobody knows how it works or where it finds that extra bit of speed but certainly a bit special

Will Trew – Bentley

Nice and Posh   

Daniel Keating – Canoe

Small, no frills frame.  Tends to travel along at it’s own leisurely pace

Chris Burns – Ice Cream Van

Makes a lot of noise but always full of surprises.  On the lookout for Children




Leigh Fearn – Penny Farthing

Not many teams have one of these left in their fleet.  Used to be amazing in 1895



Kieran Grant – Glider

Super Slick, uncomplicated design but spends half its time with its head in the clouds




Ed Calvert – Paul Daniels Magic Van

Full of ridiculous tricks.  You’ll like him…but not a lot..

Rio Comrie – Apache Helicopter

Big, Black, Powerful piece of Kit.  Impossible to take down and perfect for protecting the troops.

George Clark – Volvo

‘Safety comes as standard’.  Great design though not the most stylish